Nifty In The Stacks

Hey NatWu I Found A New Outfit For You

2012-01-30T21:15:00.002-06:00

This would be better if those were real hot dogs.

Transvestite bumblebees

2012-01-10T09:49:00.000-06:00

Is the least of what's wrong with this video. It's not as soul-crushingly oppressive as the last one, but it's not exactly normal.

Oh, and one of those is actually a girl. Can you figure out which one?

What just happened?

2012-01-10T09:45:00.000-06:00

I tried to make it all the way through this, but I couldn't. Maybe I'm just too tired to resist the mental damage it's doing to me.

I can't even convey the level of WTF-ness with a simple "WTF!" She farts a stream of colors, faceless fat girls are dancing, eyeballs are randomly appearing out of nowhere...my sanity was slipping when I turned it off. The incredible repetitiveness of the music seemed to be extremely effective at drilling the psychedelic effects into me. I think she repeated that damn chorus like 16 times so far, and I stopped the damn video at 3 minutes!!!!

Anyway, I wouldn't recommend watching the whole thing. The super-bright color palette might hurt your eyes permanently, let alone what this is doing to your brain.

YES! The head explosion montage we've all been waiting for

2011-12-06T12:24:00.000-06:00

High school principal in Taiwan shows up in Iron Man suit

2011-06-23T11:22:00.002-05:00

Ha ha ha! I've got nothing to say about this

2011-03-14T20:42:00.000-05:00

Terminator Rudeness

2011-03-04T12:21:00.000-06:00

Guns 'n' Roses has found its new frontman!

2011-02-28T16:20:00.001-06:00

Did Coldplay ripoff Super Mario Bros. music?

2011-02-28T16:18:00.002-06:00

Probably, not but this is still funny:

Long Article About Something

2011-02-11T22:49:00.003-06:00

NatWu sent me this article, but he was too dumb to post it to the blog first so I'm taking full credit for this:

I'm about 100% sure I've linked to a Topless Robot expose of ridiculous D&D monsters, but I'm way too lazy to go looking for that post, and anyway this one is more thorough and thus hilarious:

The "Gas Spore" is a monster that looks like a Beholder...only when you attack it, it explodes and infects you with deadly spores that will kill you. So, we've got a monster that is a monster you have to fight as well as a monster that exists only to look like a monster you have to fight. This brings up the first issue I have with D&D: There is no hope for you if you exist in this world. Nothing can be trusted. If the game master wants to kill you, you're dead. Think I'm exaggerating? Wait until I show you the monster that kills you by becoming your pants and tricking you into putting them on.

Really though, did we know any better at our age? Well, I mean this guy did...but the rest of us?

Did they learn nothing??

2011-01-28T12:16:00.002-06:00

German Researchers Build Robot Terminator Hand

Because stuff this good just never gets old

2011-01-04T16:19:00.002-06:00

2010-12-11T12:52:00.001-06:00

I hate seeing this in movies anymore

Thanks to Nat-Wu for telling me about this

2010-11-27T09:53:00.002-06:00

No reason we can't do this in Texas

2010-10-29T19:27:00.001-05:00

Happy Halloween!

EMBED-Carving A Jack-O-Lantern With A Gun - Watch more free videos

Greatest movie speech of all time

2010-10-09T22:53:00.000-05:00

Can you dig it?

Speaking of crazy people

2010-09-25T18:52:00.000-05:00

Yeah, anybody called "Booty Warrior" is crazy.

Crazy people call the library

2010-09-24T13:41:00.012-05:00

While I'm still working on my response (or elaboration of) Holy Taco's recent post about 8 people you will find at the public library, I have this that comes from the Irving Public Library. Don't ask how I got it; I worked my magic and voila. This is an actual call received by the library and left on the voicemail system. The lady has quite a theory about lasers, ankle bracelets, and people turning red. Anyway, listen and enjoy.

This is not an actual picture of the crazy lady, but it might as well be.

Hear the crazy lady who calls the library:

Update: I forgot to mention two things that will make this make a little more sense (and crazy) to people who don't already know what this is: 1) the City Spectrum is Irving's city newsletter and 2) we had minor earthquakes (just tremors really) a couple of months before this lady called.

Twisted.. but funny (and thus, right up our alley!)

2010-09-13T21:03:00.001-05:00

The kid(?) has talent

2010-09-05T00:15:00.002-05:00

Don't know why, but this kid makes me think of the Espers from Akira, only if they could pop and lock.

I'll be damned if this isn't the song of the year

2010-09-02T16:35:00.002-05:00

The official video for Cee-Lo's brilliant "Fuck You" song came out today, although this one with stylized lyrics that went viral on the 'net was pretty great already.

Having to play this for real would have driven me insane

2010-08-28T08:34:00.002-05:00

Just watch:

Worst. Cover. Ever.

2010-08-21T09:15:00.001-05:00

Yes, even worse than that "Final Countdown" one.

Yeah, I don't have a problem with this

2010-08-18T22:15:00.002-05:00

Guy in his underwear scaling a giant pole? It'll be an Olympic sport before you know it.

You're welcome

2010-08-15T09:45:00.000-05:00

EMBED-Real Life Dober-Man is the Creepiest thing u will see... all yea - Watch more free videos

Thank God for the Internet

2010-07-27T20:07:00.002-05:00

If this were the good ol' pre-internet days, I'd have to wait for somebody to print this in a book.

(via @rachelsklar and Adam)

YES

2010-07-25T12:55:00.000-05:00

Dildo Knight

2010-07-22T23:26:00.001-05:00

Look, I don't make this stuff. I just bring it to you.

(via BoingBoing)

'Tron Legacy' Feature Trailer (Comic-Con)

2010-07-22T16:51:00.001-05:00

I just had an orgasm of blue light:

"Hahaha! Let the police cut off my balls. I don't mind 'cause it's the cops and they're always right."

2010-07-22T13:36:00.004-05:00

This man goes seriously crazy because a mall is closed.

WHY GOD WHY??!!

2010-07-05T16:20:00.001-05:00

I really hope I don't run into this woman the next time I visit Times Square.

This is full of awesome

2010-06-11T17:55:00.000-05:00

Live from Pasadena...

2010-05-22T18:51:00.001-05:00

To celebrate the impending return of the U2 360 tour (whenever Bono recovers from back surgery that is), here are some cuts (mostly taken from a Brazilian TV special) from the upcoming release of their performance at the Rose Bowl last year:

The Unforgettable Fire

City of Blinding Lights

I'll Go Crazy If I Don't Go Crazy Tonight

Ultraviolet (Light My Way)

Moment of Surrender

Who You Gonna Call?

2010-05-19T08:14:00.000-05:00

Well, at least he's not a teabagger

2010-04-07T09:29:00.002-05:00

Role for Justice!

2010-01-26T18:53:00.003-06:00

Apparently, officials at the Waupun Correctional Institution in Wisconsin decided that the avid gaming taking place amongst some of the prisoners could only be a sign that trouble was brewing, and confiscated the prisoner's D&D material out of fear that it would inspire the participants to commit real acts of naughtiness that involve shivs rather than dice:

[Gang Specialist Muraski] explained that the policy was intended to promote prison security because cooperative games can mimic the organization of gangs and lead to the actual development thereof. Muraski elaborated that during D&D games, one player is denoted the “Dungeon Master.” The Dungeon Master is tasked with giving directions to other players, which Muraski testified mimics the organization of a gang. At bottom, his testimony about this policy aim highlighted Waupun’s worries about cooperative activity among inmates, particularly that carried out in an organized, hierarchical fashion.

Believe it not, we've actually covered the subject of gaming in prison on this blog before, which I suppose makes us more of an expert on the subject than this gang specialist, who apparently believes that D&D inspires people to organize themselves in the manner reminiscent of a gang. You know, if gangs were hanging out in their cribs eating Doritos, drinking Mountain Dew and rolling to awkwardly seduce tavern wenches played by other male gamers. The only possible question that can arise from this is: has Muranski ever actually met any gamers? To be fair, the prisoners participating in this activity are hardened, violent criminals, but unless they're being housed in an institution reminiscent of a petty European baron's medieval dungeon, there is almost no activity in life that D&D can possibly be helping to prepare them for. But let's take a moment to focus on what's really important here:

While Cardwell and his other affiants, including a literacy tutor and a role-playing game analyst, testified to a positive relationship between D&D and rehabilitation, none disputed or even acknowledged the prison officials’ assertions that there are valid reasons to fear a relationship running in the opposite direction.

That has got to be the sweetest analytical job in the world, and I'm polishing my resume as this is being typed.

Some Stuff

2010-01-11T14:57:00.003-06:00

Awhile back I wrote about the phenomenon of people who dress like comic-book superheroes and patrol the streets to protect citizens from crime. Well somebody's gone meta with this, writing a comic book about one of these caped crusaders, a comic which has now been turned into a movie. Here's the trailer for it:

Works for me.

Second, here's the trailer for a new documentary "Dungeon Masters" about people who are way seriously into D&D (via Topless Robot.) I'm kind of hoping this will be a little better than Ubergoober...but still, it's a movie about people who play RPGs. If these people's lives were interesting, they wouldn't be playing RPGs.

Trailer for The Dungeon Masters from Dungeon Masters Movie on Vimeo.

Lastly, here's an article on people who have apparently-in all seriousness-decided that the caveman lifestyle is the way to go (via Boing Boing.)

The caveman lifestyle, in Mr. Durant’s interpretation, involves eating large quantities of meat and then fasting between meals to approximate the lean times that his distant ancestors faced between hunts. Vegetables and fruit are fine, but he avoids foods like bread that were unavailable before the invention of agriculture. Mr. Durant believes the human body evolved for a hunter-gatherer lifestyle, and his goal is to wean himself off what he sees as many millenniums of bad habits.

[...]

Mr. Le Corre, 38, who once made soap for a living, promotes what he calls “mouvement naturel” at exercise retreats in West Virginia and elsewhere. His workouts include scooting around the underbrush on all fours, leaping between boulders, playing catch with stones, and other activities at which he believes early man excelled. These are the “primal, essential skills that I believe everyone should have,” he said in an interview.

Uh, can you say LARPer?

Dear Nerds: Please Stop Legitimizing Bad Sci-Fi

2009-12-31T10:33:00.004-06:00

This is sort of a follow-up to last night's post about the phenomenon of Star Trek/Star Wars nerds considering themselves authentic nerds. In that post I made reference to the overwhelming ubiquity of Star Trek and Star Wars in popular culture, and why I think that has helped fans of the two franchises consider themselves nerds when they are in fact no such thing. Star Wars and Star Trek are overwhelmingly popular franchises on any scale, so it's really no surprise that they serve as stand-ins for science fiction for the ignorant and uninformed. As an example, Star Wars is so pervasive in our culture that even television assholes think they can get in on the act. For example:

Visit msnbc.com for Breaking News, World News, and News about the Economy

Or:

Visit msnbc.com for Breaking News, World News, and News about the Economy

Star Trek is no better. Hardcore fans of both franchises see this as a sort of bemused acceptance of their interests by mainstream culture. This is wrong. It is actually mockery, only now highly refined into what passes for bemused acceptance to the untrained eye. Fans of either franchise who participate or aid these attempts by mainstream culture to "explore" Star Trek or Star Wars are only humiliating themselves, only now without realizing that they are in fact humiliating themselves. Worse yet, they are only perpetuating the idea amongst mainstream culture that Star Trek and Star Wars are adequate representations of the genre of science fiction.

This is a pretty sad state of affairs. The non-science fiction crowd is eager enough to permit the two most popular "science fiction" franchises of all time to serve as stand-ins for all of science fiction, without Star Wars/Star Trek fans eagerly collaborating with the process. But what's worse than that is when actual nerds, people who ought to know better, engage in the process as well. This sort of thing is exactly what I mean (via Boing Boing):

In a normal environment, a carcass gets cold in 8 to 36 hours losing an average rate of 1.6 degrees Fahrenheit per hour. However, the ice world of Hoth is not an average environment. The Star Wars database lists that Hoth reaches nightly temperatures of -60 F. In a frigid, sub-zero environment, body heat can be lost almost 32 times faster. This means a Tauntaun's body heat could drop almost 51.2 F every hour. Considering that Han Solo's Tauntaun died of severe hypothermia even before it was cut open with Luke's light saber, one could assume it's core body temperature was already well below normal. The problem for Luke is if the Tauntaun's body temperature reaches freezing point those once toasty guts, blood, and assorted alien goo, will in fact become a frozen coffin. If the Tauntaun died of cardiac arrest due to hypothermia with an average body temperature of 75 F (23 C), and if Tauntaun blood freezes at 28.4 F (-2 C), then Han has roughly 56 minutes to set up a shelter before Luke once again is in danger of losing his life in the barren wasteland of Hoth.

That is some serious nerdity. I really don't mean to pick on anybody here, especially authentic nerds, because this treatment is so common these days and this is really a very tiny offense. But lately it's started to drive me up a wall. It's one thing for Star Wars/Star Trek dorks and members of the mainstream to lift these franchises to exalted status and thus have everybody believing that they are adequate representations of science fiction, but it's quite another for actual nerds to do the same by addressing-with all seriousness-things like the question of how long Luke could survive in a dead Tauntaun. This gives a gloss of actual science fiction seriousness to Star Wars, which most assuredly does not deserve it. Worse yet, it perpetuates the notion that Star Wars is actual science fiction amongst nerds who ought to know better, and dorky fans of the movies who are eager to lap up any legitimizing of their devotion. You and I, and presumably these guys, know that this is merely a excuse to engage in some actual, if light-hearted, science via Star Wars. Everybody else sees this and thinks Star Wars has some actual science in it, therefore it must be science fiction, therefore it's okay for Star Wars to serve as shorthand for "science fiction" for people who don't know the first thing about science fiction.

So what's my point? It is a request: please nerds, stop treating Star Wars and Star Trek as actual science fiction. It's fine to engage the franchises within their own parameters. And no one's going to erase the pervasiveness of the franchises in popular culture anytime soon. But there's no need to help make it worse, especially when there are so many authentic science fiction topics out there for nerds to address (like this!)

Why You Are Not a Nerd

2009-12-30T19:02:00.007-06:00

I want you to take a good long look at that picture above (and not just at the nipples, dammit!) Do you see how proud those people are of themselves? How very proud they are to be naked cyclists painted in Star Trek uniforms? These people should be ASHAMED. Not because they are cyclists, and not because they are naked (sort of), but because they are obviously such devotees of the TV and movie franchise "Star Trek." I actually kind of like Star Trek, so I'm sorry I even have to go into this rant, but Star Trek is NOT GOOD SCIENCE FICTION. It's not really good fiction, it sure as hell isn't good science, and the only reason the franchise is as popular as it is today is because of an odd mix of timing, a host of memorable actors, and the complete and utter dearth of anything resembling good science fiction on television. The same is true of Star Wars, the other noted science fiction franchise that presently dominates popular culture. Truth be told, Star Wars is riding the popularity of the original films, though the more recent films had the odd effect of drawing millions of Star Wars fans out of their homes at first in delight, and then in horror and rage. But Star Wars, even the original trilogy, is also not good science fiction. The story is not that original (though the setting is, sort of) and it survives by virtue of (again) the cast, memorable characters, amazing special effects, and timing (as in arriving at a moment when moviegoers were craving something light, fanciful and enjoyable.)

The reason I feel the need to take down Star Wars and Star Trek a peg or two, is because fans of these franchises the world over have somehow convinced themselves that it is perfectly okay to proclaim themselves as Star Wars/Star Trek "nerds", as if an overwhelming and consuming love of either of these franchises is something that one should be proud of. "Trekkies" and Star Wars nerds have come to believe that their devotion is an acceptable form of nerd-dom, that in fact they may even proclaim themselves as "nerds" by virtue of their love of these franchises. THIS. IS. WRONG. As I explained in an earlier post, there is a world of difference in the terms "nerd", "geek" and "dork." The terms nerd and geek have positive connotations, in that they reflect intelligence and interest in things of an intellectual bent, like technology, or science, or mathematics, or any number of arenas of knowledge and scholarship that might actually prove to be useful in life. Unfortunately, a whole lot of people who don't know much of anything about science fiction in general (including apparently all commentators on popular culture) have come to believe that Star Wars and Star Trek are adequate representations for all of science fiction in both film and in print, because space ships zip all over the place, people use swords made of light, and there are a whole bunch of aliens that look a lot like humans. And since only nerds can possibly like science fiction (because after all, they love science) then anyone who loves Star Trek and/or Star Wars must in fact be a nerd. Which as we all know is, these days anyway, something to be proud of. And hosts of Star Wars/Star Trek nerds have bought this hook line and sinker, and proudly proclaim themselves as nerds because of their love of these franchises.

WRONG.

Star Trek and Star Wars are science fiction yes, but you don't get to run around showing off your nerd badge of honor because you love either or both of them. Why? Because they are bad science fiction. In fact they are the worst kind of science fiction, because the "science" is used (abused) to do things you can't do in real life, to drive the plot, or make bigger explosions, or make a story in space so you can dazzle people with the setting, etc., etc. The science hardly plays a critical role in the story, and if anything is used to distract people from plot failings, unbelievable characters, improbable occurrences, and so on. This is nearly always what happens when you get story writers who don't care much for science, but want to set their story in space anyway because they think it's cool, or different. They are dismissive of science; nay, contemptuous of it. So, the Star Wars/Star Trek nerd's great love of either of these franchises reflects no particular interest in anything of a scientific or intellectual bent; it means they like swords made of light, villains that wear capes, space ship battles that look like WWII dogfights, and are willing to swallow bad stories to get those things. And none of those traits are typically associated with nerds. These are traits that are associated with dorks.

Now, before anybody gets their panties in a wad, let me explain that although love of either Star Trek or Star Wars doesn't necessarily make you a nerd, it also doesn't disqualify you from being a nerd. Like I said, I like Star Trek, and I'm partial to Star Wars too. My co-bloggers and I not long ago had an e-email exchange on the symbolism of Luke's leaving Degobah before his training was complete. Hell, I've even read Star Wars and Star Trek books! But you know what else I've read? Frank Herbert, and Gene Wolfe, and Gregory Benford, and Isaac Asimov, and Arthur C. Clarke. And do you know what else I've watched? 2001: A Space Odyssey, Silent Running, and Blade Runner. In other words, I love science fiction. Really, really love it. Enough to go looking for the really good stuff, the kind of stuff where the science isn't merely a crutch for bad storytelling, the the kind of stuff that really, really makes you think about what it means to be human, about the future of humanity, and so on. And though I like Star Wars and Star Trek, I realize that those two franchises are basically the lowest common denominator of science fiction, the kind that people who don't otherwise like science fiction can get into. In other words, you can still-proudly-be a nerd if you like Star Wars or Star Trek. But you can't possibly be considered a nerd if the only thing you know about science fiction is Star Trek and Star Wars, and you sure as hell have nothing to be proud of if you know a lot about science fiction but still like Star Wars and/or Star Trek best of all.

So while you may be more than happy to go along with mainstream culture's desire to label you a "nerd" because you learned Klingon or dressed up as Princess Leia one Halloween, we true nerds know better. You're a dork with bad taste, and you're not fooling us!

'Cause I was bored today at work (Updated)

2009-12-23T15:45:00.006-06:00

Here’s some short reviews of the movies (I remember) I saw in 2009 in no particular order:

Star Trek – JJ Abrams did the impossible and found actors who could replace the original cast with ease, restoring respect to a franchise on life support and making it accessible to a larger audience. Trekkers/Trekkies are now filled with excitement and not dread for a sequel.

Avatar – James Cameron comes out of hibernation to deliver a thoroughly entertaining movie that fully realizes an alien world and culture. Everything pays off and the visual spectacle never overwhelms the story or characters.

District 9 – Like Avatar, some will criticize this movie as derivative. But also like Avatar, it’s done so much better that it doesn’t matter. Extremely entertaining film.

Terminator: Salvation – Despite what some would say, this movie wasn’t bad. But it wasn’t great and that’s too little, too late to save a stale franchise.

Capitalism: A Love Story – A solid entry from Moore, but not really as memorable as “Fahrenheit 9/11” or “Sicko.”

It Might Get Loud – Good documentary featuring my personal guitar hero The Edge, as well as Jimmy Page and Jack White. I’m sure fellow guitarists will get the most out of it though.

Sherlock Holmes - Fun take that clearly sets up for a sequel. Robert Downey Jr. is good as always, but I loved Jude Law's Watson.

Inglourious Basterds – Not as good as other Tarantino movies like “Pulp Fiction” and the “Kill Bill” volumes, but it well exceeds the extremely low bar of being better than “Death Proof.”

Public Enemies – Michael Mann’s visual style is there but he and the actors have trouble making anyone really care about the characters.

Watchmen – Has really good parts (any scene with Jackie Earle Hayle’s Rorschach) and mediocre to awful parts (everything else) that make up an interesting, but not particularly good movie.

Zombieland – Pure 100% hilarious, zombie-killing fun.

Drag Me To Hell – Fun enough, but overrated. This isn’t “Evil Dead” and doesn’t give me instant faith Sam Raimi can make a “Spider-Man 4” good.

Taken – 90 minutes of Liam Neeson kicking ass because his daughter got kidnapped on a trip to see U2 concerts in Europe. There are worse ways to spend my time.

The Princess and the Frog – Doesn’t achieve “Beauty and the Beast” greatness, but it’s cute. And a good date movie ;)

Moon – Proved a thoughtful science fiction movie can still be made. Looks really good for a shoe-string budget (probably less was spent on this entire film than the hilariously awful CGI version of Professor Xavier in Wolverine).

Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince - The last entry seemed like filler but I wasn't as completely bored as I was with this. Directed like a BBC movie (seriously, it made me yearn for Christopher Columbus and that's not good) instead of an epic fantasy film and with actors who are clearly tired of playing these characters, the plot lacks any main thrust and seems to be made up of stitched together scenes that may or may not have anything to do with each other. The only halfway interesting part is Dumbledore's death which seems fairly underplayed. I hope the last installment is much better, especially considering they've split it into two parts. It better be if they hope that anyone other than die hard HP fans are going to care.

Wolverine – Speaking of, I couldn’t believe how bad this movie was. Really, not a single thing was done right.

The Men Who Stare At Goats – And the point of this was?

Whatever Works – Funny enough at the time, but easily forgettable once you step out of the theater.

2009 movies I haven’t seen yet but wanted to at least a little: The Hurt Locker, The Road, Up, Up in the Air, The Girlfriend Experience, Invictus, The Fantastic Mr. Fox, Coraline, 9, The Hangover, Paranormal Activity, State of Play, The Lovely Bones, Where the Wild Things Are, The Imaginarium of Doctor Parnassus

…and here’s movies I’m looking forward to in 2010 so far: Alice in Wonderland, Tron: Legacy, Inception, Iron Man 2, The A-Team, Green Zone

The Ten (or so) Best Albums of 2009

2009-12-19T08:19:00.009-06:00

Note: this is also available on my other blog if you're offended by the word "douche" or human cheetahs.

I'm not a huge fan of "top" lists at the end of a year, or the end of a decade, mostly because they seem completely mandatory and cliched at this point. Still, I will admit that such lists are a good jumping off for talking about stuff that you should be indulging in, so they have their uses. I indulge mostly in music, so it seems a top ten list of the best album of 2009 is something I ought to give a try, and anyway it beats a top ten list of cheap wines. It would be more accurate to call this list my ten favorite albums of 2009 because though I listen to a lot of music, I don't listen to everything and I'm prone to missing completely notable albums here and there. Still, I think I've covered most of the bases and I'm not sure anybody can argue with me too much. Also, these are in no particular order because though I'm willing to eliminate some from "top" consideration, I most certainly am not going to rank albums that I consider on par with each other. Also, there's a bunch of honorable mentions because it's stuff you really ought to listen to, though maybe not as great as the ten I've listed here. So here you go:

1) Metric, "Fantasies." Despite what I just wrote seconds ago, I will go ahead and rank this as the best album of the year. Not just my favorite, but best period, and yes I'm willing to argue with you about it in comments. Metric has been around for awhile now, but it seems like with this album they've finally found a fusion of pop, rock and indie sensibility that has produced some pretty catchy and likable tunes. Also, it doesn't hurt their ranking that I am completely in love with lead singer Emily Haines. Here's the video for the track "Gimme Sympathy" which is not my favorite song from the album, but which is my favorite video by the band (really, all videos should just be of whatever band playing in an interesting setting.)

2) The XX, "xx." Garnering this much critical acclaim is pretty impressive for a first studio album by a band full of recent high school grads. I think I like it so much because I tend to favor minimalistic approaches to pop music (with exceptions, as you'll see) and I'm impressed that anybody can do so much with such spare instrumentation. Here's the video for the song "Crystallized." Again, not my favorite song but I think it gives you a pretty good idea of what they're up to. Tell me you're not impressed by this group of punk kids, I dare you.

3) Wild Beasts, "Two Dancers." Critically acclaimed, but I get the impression that is one of those albums where you're either going to really like it, or really hate it. I don't know how otherwise is possible when you have a lead singer who unabashedly engages in such an abrasive falsetto, and the song lyrics are both so artful and crude. But again, I don't know how you can't praise a band that does so much with so little instrumentation. Here's the video for "Hooting and Howling", which is one of my favorite tracks off of their album.

4) Antony and the Johnsons, "The Crying Light." This is a beautiful album. I don't know how else to say it. Antony Hegarty writes songs about all sorts of difficult subjects, but has this incredible knack for taking subjects that seem strange, unusual or sad and making them see unique, wonderful and desirable. And speaking of falsettos...but I don't know how anyone can't think his voice is amazing after they listen for a bit. Here's the completely gorgeous video for "Epilepsy is Dancing."

5) Neko Case, "Middle Cyclone." Neko Case is known for her amazing voice, which can probably be characterized as "brassy" when she really lets go, but which can also be amazingly tender. She's also a fantastic song writer. Her previous album "Fox Cofessor Brings the Flood" was good, but I was put off by her tendency to use unconventional song structure to ill effect. That is not at all a problem on this album. Here's the video for "People Got Alot of Nerve."

6) Alice in Chains, "Black Gives Way to Blue." I wrote a lot more about this album on my music blog, so here I'll just say this is a pretty good return for a band that hasn't released an album in fourteen years. I haven't actually figured out yet which track is my favorite, so will go with the first one off the album, "All Secrets Known." Well done guys, and welcome back.

7) Miike Snow, "Miike Snow." If this is what happens when you pair a relatively unknown lead singer with a great voice with a pair of songwriters from Sweden who've written hits for pop divas like Britney Spears, Madonna, Kylie Minogue and Jennifer Lopez, then that sort of thing really ought to happen more often. This is a nearly perfect combination of piano, electronica, and songwriting. Also, knowing that they're capable of making music like this, I'm less embarrassed to admit to kind of liking "Toxic." Here's my favorite track (and probably one of my favorite songs of the year) "Silvia."

8) Wilco, "Wilco." I'm a relative newcomer to Wilco, but I don't think you have to like the band (or even ever heard them before) to like this album. These guys can write some pretty catchy and lovely songs, and this album garners the rare distinction (for me) of being one of the ones where I like every track. You can tell this is a band that's been around a while and has perfected the art of songwriting, and who could probably write a great song in their sleep.

9) Dehtklok, "Dethalbum II." I pretty much grew up worshiping bands like Metallica and Megadeth, and though my tastes were greatly expanded by the grunge movement of the early 90s I've never given up my fondness for really loud, really fast metal music. Unfortunately,metal bands have mostly given up on creating really loud, really fast metal music that's any good. To some it may seem a commentary on a sad state of affairs that a comedic cartoon band has produced two of the best metal albums of the last few years, but who cares? It's not like metal music was ever meant to be taken that seriously anyway and if Brandon Small wasn't making this music with a cartoon band, he'd be tearing up a guitar with a real band somewhere anyway. Here's my favorite track, "Volcano." Turn it up to 11 suckers.

10) Mos Def, "The Ecstatic." I don't listen to a lot of hip hop, but I do listen to the good stuff, and Mos Def is definitely the good stuff. I love Mos Def's voice, and his willingness to be blatantly political, though he can be all over the place style-wise. But when he's on, he writes some pretty impressive raps, and I think this is far and away his best album yet. My favorite track from the album is Auditorium, produced with Madlib, who also happens to be the architect (with DOOM) of the genius album "Madvillainy."

Honorable Mentions: (No embedded videos, but follow the links for a listen.)

1. Julian Casablancas, "Phrazes for the Young." I may be partial to this album because I'm a huge Strokes fan, but I think Casablancas has the musical chops. He's sort of all over the place with this album, but what's good about it is pretty good, and so worth a mention.

2. Danger Mouse & Sparklehorse, "Dark Night of the Soul." This collaboration between two of my favorite musicians, Danger Mouse and Mark Linkous, features an all-star ensemble with the likes of Julian Casablancas, James Mercer (of The Shins), Iggy Pop, Suzanne Vega, Vic Chesnutt and so on, and also featuring filmmaker David Lynch, who sang on a couple of tracks and provided photos for a book to be included with the album. The album has actually not been released for sale yet thanks to a legal dispute between Danger Mouse and EMI, but you can hear the whole thing at the link to NPR above. Hit or miss; with that many artists I don't think it's possible to produce a coherent album. But the good songs are really good.

3. Phoenix, "Wolfgang Amadeus Phoenix." Just some really good pop music. This album hasn't worn well with me, but I couldn't not mention it, given the buzz they've gotten.

4. PJ Harvey and John Parish, "A Woman a Man Walked By." I get the feeling that Harvey got together with Parish (who produced "White Chalk") to record an album she felt like she couldn't record under her name alone. Again it's hit or miss, but it's always interesting. The lead track "Black Hearted Love" may be one of my favorite songs of the year.

5. BEAK>, "BEAK>." If you liked the more psychedelic stuff from Portishead's "Third" (their 2008 album that's so fantastic I want to make it one of my top picks for 2009) then you'll really like BEAK>. It was recorded in less than two weeks and it sounds like it, but that's in no way a bad thing.

6. U2, "No Line on the Horizon." Not my favorite U2 album to be honest, but do they make anything bad? Any album they make deserves a spot on a retrospective list.

7. Great Lake Swimmers, "Lost Channels." This album barely escapes my top ten. If you like some Canadian folk music about simple and beautiful subjects, then this is the band for you. Their best album so far.

So, there you go! I'd love your thoughts, especially if you have recommendations for anything I missed. Now, I'm going to go listen to all of this stuff over again.

UPDATED: Oh hell, I knew I'd forget somebody important. Andrew Bird's fourth studio album "Noble Beast" came out earlier this year. I don't think it's as good as "Armchair Apocrypha" so it doesn't make my top ten list, but Andrew Bird is an enormously talented musician who cranks out one great song after another. Anything he does is worth a listen, even if you're not a huge fan of wildly looped violin like I am.

Iron Man 2 trailer

2009-12-18T00:37:00.001-06:00

Western Burger Emergency

2009-12-11T16:53:00.004-06:00

Why does this ever happen more than once?

The St. Louis Riverfront Times reports that a woman in Laguna Niguel, Calif., called 911 complaining that the staff at the local Burger King would not make her a "Western barbecue burger."

"They keep giving me a hamburger with lettuce, tomato, cheese and onions. .... I said, 'I'm not leaving. I want a Western burger.' I just got my kids from Tae Kwon Do, they're hungry."

The 911 dispatcher responded, saying, "OK, so what exactly is it you want us to do for you?" To which the woman said, "Send an officer down here."

The dispatcher said she wouldn't send an officer and that she needed to speak with the manager to figure out how to deal with it. "This is not a criminal issue," she said.

"But you're supposed to protect me," the caller said.

"What are we protecting you from, a wrong cheeseburger?" the dispatcher countered.

Yes, godammit! What does this lady think we're fighting all those terrorists for, if not so emergency workers can't save us from wrongly-prepared fast food orders?

(In case you've forgotten the earlier installment, I present "Shrimp Emergency.")

(via Liberally Lean)

Well, I'm Fucked

2009-12-01T12:07:00.004-06:00

Via Adam, the Cracked.com Zombie Survival Guide. All around highly useful, but there is one particular part of the section on people you don't want to join your zombie survival group that troubles me:

Gamers: I'm not passing judgment on anybody. In our everyday, non-zombie filled lives, gamers are just fine. It's a free country, and they don't hurt anybody. But when you're battling for your life against thousands of rotting ghouls, you may want to think twice about including a gamer in your group. Each of the thousands upon thousands of hours they've spent mastering the game of their choice, be it Warcraft, HALO, or Dungeons & Dragons, is an hour they didn't spend learning to do something in the real world. This leaves the average hardcore gamer with a skill set that tops out somewhere between "heating up Hot Pockets in the microwave" and "yelling at n00bs on the internet."

Dammit! But man...it's actually worse than that. Gamers aren't merely a detriment because you're going to have to assign someone to protect their fleshy and under-used bodies which they are incapable of protecting themselves. No, they actually worsen the chances of survival in a more significant manner, because they will insist on trying to apply all sorts of ridiculous ideas they used in similar situations in their gaming campaigns. Listen to any of these guys and the next thing you know, you'll be building a catapult to launch your group from the tops of one building to another "safely." I hate to say it, but it's best just to give gamers to the zombies and hope it keeps them busy long enough for you to escape.

Now paintballers? A completely different story. Those guys are practically military.

Conquering the World Once Lunch Break at a Time

2009-11-27T18:34:00.001-06:00

Back in high school, my friends and I couldn't get enough of playing games. If you're a regular reader of this blog you're aware of our obsession with role playing games. But those weren't the only games we partook in. My friends and I loved to play board games, war games, card games, video games, and if we were really hard up, we'd just roll dice around. Naturally, as we were focused on something less than enriching ourselves, we tried to find a way to integrate games into our daily activities at school. It was in that spirit that I stumbled onto the idea of what we came to call "simulations." Essentially, these were a cross between role-playing games and war games. Each player would play a specific geopolitical unit (usually whole countries) and, armed with little more than a factsheet about their countries capabilities, were free to play in a manner restricted only by their imagination and the leniency of the gamemaster (who was just about always myself.) There were some loose rules enacted to ensure some measure of fairness, but otherwise there were no limits on what could be done. Typically I'd manage to sign up about 6-12 friends of mine for one of these. Each morning they would issue "orders" (passed to me in the cafeteria in the morning or in class at some point during the day) which I would then process that night instead of doing my homework (this in part is how I ended up at a local state university instead of say, a real college.) Then the following morning I would issue a "report", usually styled in the manner of a newspaper story, detailing the results of the days previous orders. This was all great fun on my part, which is why we ended up doing it probably half a dozen times or more. In our last simulation I even charged a fee to play, which was then rewarded to the winners. Typically the simulations would drag one for a month or two, and only when the players who hadn't been eliminated agreed to end conflict (typically because they were allied with each other.)

Now as you can imagine of a game being played by teenage boys, these simulations typically dissolved into warfare in pretty short order. At the outset some of the players would feign measures of diplomacy and conciliation, mostly because I think they got the same thrill that Hitler probably did when he signed the Molotov-Ribbentrop Pact, that feeling of just having set up a very, very large and nasty trick on someone else. Actually the example is fairly apropos, as it was not uncommon for the players to sign various treaties at the outset (sometimes literally, turning them into me as gamemaster after the fact) which they would begin scheming to undermine about as long as it took to get out of earshot of the other parties. But usually it only took one act of completely inconsequential aggression (or completely inconsequential staged aggression) to kick off a conflict, and then the next thing you know armies are being mustered, fleets sent to sea, and civilians incinerated in nuclear warfare. Once conflict ensued it was settled only when the leader of another country was toppled or assassinated, because when you are playing a completely imaginary game you really have no incentive to surrender before your imaginary existence is terminated.

Of course, the same people tended to participate over and over again. For us, this meant that the warring camps were established almost right at the outset, as the players had long ago discovered who the could cooperate with and trust. The most formidable pairing was our own Nat-Wu and our mutual friend James, who won several of the simulations mostly by virtue of the fact that they actually cooperated and trusted each other. The usefulness of these characteristics cannot be overstated. The players they typically opposed operated more like the rogues out of the Batman television show than any sort of functioning alliance. In one legendary example, one of the players baited one of his allies into launching a single nuclear device at the country Nat-Wu was playing. Now if you know anything about nuclear warfare, you know that it's one of those things where if you're going to go for it, you'd better go all out from the beginning. I don't know how he convinced his ally that launching a single nuclear device was a smart way to go about starting a war, but the logical result followed; NatWu obliterated several of that player's cities in return, and then invaded him for good measure. As far as I recall (this was a long time ago) this goading was the result of a merely personal spat between the two "allies", but the consequence was the complete destruction of their respective countries by Nat-Wu and his ally James. The goading player was content to see his own country obliterated, if only his ally was obliterated first.

As I state above, action was limited largely by the imagination of the players, tempered by some measure of reality (the games were supposed to be a "simulation" of the real world after all.) This didn't mean that players wouldn't occasionally test the limits of reality (and my patience.) One player insisted on building impregnable city-fortresses beneath the seas. Because this project required an inordinate amount of his GDP and was scheduled to be completed some fifty years into the game, he was caught somewhat unprepared for the land invasion that subsequently captured his (still occupied) above-ground cities. Another player expressed a strong desire to build an army of robot tigers with which to invade his neighbor. I staged an intervention in that instance, and he resigned himself to conquest via an old-fashioned army of tanks and infantry.

But our simulations reached the true height of absurdity in one particular game, where the players each played individual states in a future American civil war. Imagine a future American where 90% of able-bodied men serve in the military, approximately 3/4 of a state's budget is devoted to military spending, and where there are absolutely no ties of affection or brotherhood between any of the states, and you have some idea of what this simulation was like. I believe the players were at war after approximately one turn, and were certainly scheming against each other before that. Again Nat-Wu and James triumphed, but this time they were in fact the only two players who could manage to cooperate in any sense of the word; all other players fought them or each other without any real sense of strategy or cooperation, and each was obliterated in turn, with only California holding out for any length of time thanks to massive amounts of manpower. But this particular simulation has obtained legendary status thanks to the wanton cruelty the players visited upon each other. I'm not entirely sure how this began, but the contest quickly became an effort to see who could be executed in the most imaginative way upon their capture. This included one player being strapped to a missile and shot at a target (effective and quick, but fairly unimaginative) and another player being strapped to a rocket car that's then driven into a wall (effective, not as quick, and highly imaginative.) That particular game terminated in a trick ending. I permitted one of the players whose plight moved me to pity (he was eliminated early on, mostly through no fault of his own) to "retroactively" rig a gigantic nuclear device at the center of the world, which he detonated shortly after the victory of the Nat-Wu/James alliance. This was much to their surprise, but much to everyone's amusement. In our world, that counted as going out in style. Those were the days.

Anyway, it must be the onset of the holiday season that's prompted me to wax nostalgic and embarrass myself and my co-bloggers by putting all of this online for the world to see. I may no longer have time for games during lunch breaks, but that doesn't stop me from wistfully recalling days of such pointless and humiliating activity. Ah, youth!

Roll to Clean!

2009-11-24T16:23:00.005-06:00

It is my goal to someday have a brilliant and innovative idea like this one: soap for gamers. The makers of "Geeky Clean!" are not likely to retire as wealthy and privileged venture capitalists, but still I hope they are handsomely rewarded for this highly amusing (and not unneeded) little product; bars of soap for gamers, at the center of which can be found lovely little d20s (game-ready, I presume.) Here's the description for this particular example:

You've been naughty
So here's the Scoop
You're getting nothing
But Snowman Poop!

Perfect gift for your gamer troop! Includes a black "lump of coal" d20 with an epic fail 1 side up. This shimmery snow white soap is scented with a blend of Mint, Jasmine, and Pine. Perfect for the holidays and makes a great stocking stuffer!

That's only one example. Other scents include "Barbarian Scrub", "Bar Trek" and "Health" (to boost your hit points.) Now if you've met any gamers in real life you know that they are not all gifted with basic social graces, one of those graces being hygiene and cleanliness. So this is the perfect product for the gamer who's coming out of a 72-hour gaming binge and needs a little help with the Dorito stains on his fingers and the Mountain Dew aroma exuding from his pores. He'll hardly stop showering, so eager will he be to get the little prize in the center!

(via Boing Boing)

Rambo III: The Wrath of Rambo

2009-11-23T22:53:00.003-06:00

So, Nat-Wu bought me the "Complete Collector's Set" of Rambo movies. He apparently believes that I am the sort of person who will sit around watching extended editions of Rambo movies I've already seen multiple times, and he is right (by the way...who exactly "collects" Rambo movies?) I chose to kick off this evening's adventure with Rambo III, wherein Rambo travels to Afghanistan to fight the evil Soviets. I have to say, watching Rambo III is an experience rich in irony. If Afghanistan was the Soviet Union's Vietnam, then Afghanistan is our...what? It's easy to cheer Rambo on as he fillets one Soviet soldier after another, until you realize that the little kid he's fighting alongside is the fictional equivalent of today's Taliban commander.

However, that is as much thinking as Rambo III requires, and it only requires that much because of unforeseen changes in circumstance thirteen years after it's making. In truth, Rambo III is not a good movie. Now, I didn't actually think Rambo III was a good movie when I first saw it at the tender age of fourteen. I was naive at that age, but not stupid. But Rambo III basically undoes whatever good was done by the first two movies. In the first Rambo we see John Rambo as a tormented veteran of Vietnam, unable to find a place in a placid and unappreciative American society. In Rambo II he returns to Vietnam, to rescue his fellow countrymen who remain in the hands of the Vietnamese and purge himself of the horrible memories of the war. As Rambo III opens we see that Rambo is living in Thailand, at peace with himself and the legacy of the wars he has fought and the lives he has taken. That is, until his mentor Col. Trautman shows up, attempting to berate him into fighting in another war that really has nothing to do with with by pointing out that Rambo is a soldier, has always been a soldier, and will always be a soldier presumably until he is killed fighting in yet another illegal American combat engagement. Yeah, no awkward hugs and shared tears this time. Rambo, having grown away from the painful experiences of the past, refuses...that is, until Trautman gets his dumb ass captured in Afghanistan and Rambo's loyalty to his comrades is sore abused yet again as he goes on a one-man mission to rescue Trautman from Soviet captivity.

But if you think there's to be any reflection on the horrors of war in this movie, you can forget about it! Rambo wisecracks his way through one harrowing battle after another, coming to peace with the painful memories of his violent past by...creating new ones! Or accepting that he'll never escape them, or something, I guess. Or perhaps war isn't as horrible when it's not being fought against tiny Vietnamese people in a jungle. And anyway, all of that "reflection" and whatnot would merely get in the way of the horrific violence that Rambo visits upon the Soviets, and that the Soviets in turn visit upon the Afghans.

The villain in the movie is Col. Zaysen, a Soviet commander who has utilized notorious brutality in the form of a Hind helicopter gunship that he personally flies around a uses to brutally blow up Afghan women and children and horses. The first thing I noticed about Zaysen upon re-watching the movie is his odd accent, which is explained by the fact that the actor portraying him is in fact French. I have never heard anyone speak Russian-accented English with a French accent before, and I have to tell you that it had me completely confounded as to Zaysen's true nationality. With that name, I thought it was entirely possibly that Zaysen's backstory was that of an Iranian immigrant to Russia who somehow ends up enlisting and fighting in Afghanistan (a backstory ripe for a prequel, I say.) I don't really understand why the filmmakers couldn't find a single actual Russian to portray Zaysen; even in 1988 I'm pretty sure we had more than a few Russians over here doing not much of anything beyond avoiding assassination by the KGB.

Rambo III isn't all bad. Rambo's deadpan style is amusing (he answers every question in the most straight-forward manner possible, which at first seems indicative of a form of autism but actually seems to work for him.) There's plenty of violence if you're into that sort of thing, including a Soviet soldier who is both hanged and blown up at the same time, and various soldiers who are shot and/or blown up with Rambo's signature arrows, or gutted with a knife, or have their necks broken, or are merely hit violently with sticks. Of course the Soviets as portrayed in Rambo III are perhaps the worst military of the late 20th century, but of course if they were any better Rambo would've been shot in the back by a tower guard as he unsuccessfully attempts to sneak into a heavily guarded fort, and that would be a pretty short and disappointing movie.

Anyway, so that's Rambo III. I had kind of hoped that by re-watching Rambo III I could enjoy a little nostalgia upon recalling seeing it for the first time over twenty years ago, but I think that would require me to have actually enjoyed it the first time around. Oh well.

Oh yeah!

2009-11-13T22:40:00.000-06:00

Star Wars Gangsta Rap Chronicles!

ALL NEW! Star Wars Gangsta Rap: Chronicles

Atom.com: Funny Videos | Atom Originals | Star Wars Gangsta Rap

"The 10 Most Beloved and Unhealthy Gaming Snacks"

2009-11-06T12:40:00.005-06:00

As with any Topless Robot list of greatness, I'm excerpting (stealing) some of it to post here. This list is epic in greatness, if only because it is a) funny and b) completely accurate. Example:

You need to bring something to a D&D campaign, and you want something sweet, you usually can't go wrong with Oreos. You can even go and get some non standard mint, strawberry or Double-Stuf Oreos if you want to shake it up, but if you usually slap down a plastic wrapped plastic tray of Oreos on a table, your friends will eat them. Also, they contain 2,400 calories per container so, you know, eating one of these by one's lonesome could be considered "heroic," though going into a diabetic coma over Xbox Live could be one of the worst ways to die as you not only see "The Light" but hear someone shouting "Hey, this fag is sucking dick all over the place!"

More hilarity ensues, involving terms like "mechanically separated chicken", "snausages for humans" and "dwarf jerky." My only quibbles? Frankly, pizza should be number one on the list. It's perfect gamer food because a) it's perfect food for any gathering of people b) requires no effort to obtain (telephone/internet and the ability to answer a door) and c) can be maximally unhealthy for you. As an example, my brother, a friend and I were gaming one night and decided nothing would top off the evening better than a meat-fest pizza with four or possibly five different meats on it. Everyone went to sleep happy, but I woke up in the dark of night wondering if I could make it to the grocery store for some Pepto before I spewed that meat back out (in something probably approximating how it arrived.)

Second, I would've added Doritos, or at least chips of some kind. For me personally Doritos would've won out as the more humorous option, what with their tendency to stain your fingers and coat your mouth with a film that two hours later tastes nothing like a Dorito or any other food item. And you can eat an entire bag and never feel fuller, only sicker.

Anyway it's a hilarious list. Check it out.

Ad Watch pt...whatever

2009-10-21T21:31:00.002-05:00

DO eat sugar cubes!

Panties fly?

2009-10-18T12:16:00.001-05:00

Only in Japan

Metalocalypse is awesome

2009-10-07T23:57:00.001-05:00

But not as awesome as Dr. Rockzo!

And we're back...

2009-09-28T22:51:00.002-05:00

With humanimals that is. I don't like them; far from it. It's just I find the furries fascinating in their utter ridiculousness. Sure, I've dreamed of being a wolf or an eagle, but never of dressing up like one and having sex while pretending to be one. On that note:

http://www.ejb.com/video/21273/Human_cheetah_.html

20 Great U2 Live Videos

2009-09-28T11:35:00.003-05:00

(Disclaimer: For all you Nifty readers - if you exist - I hope you won't mind this near-obsessive foray into music fandom as opposed to our normal routine of posting sick, perverted videos. Don't worry, those will be back soon!)

So in a little over two weeks, I'll be seeing U2 live for the third time at the new Cowboys stadium. The last two times were simply amazing (truly two of the best nights of my life) and I can't quite to see if they can top themselves again. Their latest tour, U2360, is getting rave reviews and setting a new pace for sell-outs. I'll been obsessively following the setlists and watching fan-filmed videos (which are much higher quality these days than in the past thanks to new phone technology) and it looks incredible. It manages to be big in its spectacle while still retaining an intimate atmosphere for the music. Which, of course, is what they were going for.

But such is the awesomeness of U2. While a great studio band with a record 22 grammys and 150 million albums sold to prove it, they made their name, in particular, as a live act. There's just an amazing chemistry between these four that takes the music to a new level and entrances any crowd (the hair stands up on the back of your neck and you are suddenly enclined to sing your heart out), including those that wouldn't much care for the band otherwise. To that end, I've assembled a list of twenty of my favorite live videos. This is hardly a definitive list, as they have so many great performances, but again, these are some of my personal favorites.

The list is in chronological order (I think). I tried to include videos from every era of U2 (not all could be embedded, unfortunately), but most are from the last decade as it produced many of the best performances and highest-quality recordings of them. I didn't include anything from the current tour as to not spoil any surprises for those that want to wait until they come to Dallas. On that note, one interesting factoid is that the first of the two Dallas shows on the "Elevation" tour (which is the one I went to) and the one on the "Vertigo" tour both had tour premieres - "Desire" and "Angel of Harlem" (because that's what the fan who was brought on stage wanted to play), respectively. Will we be that lucky on the third go-around?

Well anyway, enjoy!

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

1. "Sunday Bloody Sunday" (Red Rocks) - This concert is so legendary that there was a tribute based entirely around it just a couple of years back. Needless to say, this is one of their most iconic performances that cemented them as one of, if not, the best live rock act ever.

2. "Bad" (Live Aid) - One of their greatest live songs, extended into a 12-minute version here as Bono goes out into the crowd to help pull out a woman from the crowd he saw was in danger of being crushed. Unfortunately, this cut down the number of songs the band got to perform at the event, but this is said to be the moment "America fell in love with U2."

3. "Silver and Gold" (Rattle & Hum) - Bono rant. "Ok Edge, play the blues." Perfectly encapsulates this era.

4. "Love Is Blindess/Can't Help Falling Love With You" (ZooTV, Sydney) - Heartbreaking outro to their groundbreaking tour designed to showcase how they had changed both their sound and attitude (and very successfully, I might add). This was the one and only time the band performed without one of its members (Adam Clayton was missing and his bass tech filled in). Unsure of their future, the band played like this could be their last performance. The Edge's guitar work gives me chills everytime I hear it.

5. "Please" (Popmart, Mexico City) - Like "Bad," a song that truly that on a new life performed live, as many U2 songs do.

6. "Elevation" (Elevation Tour, Boston) - Always gets the crowd going and was a great opener for this tour as the band came on stage with the lights on to the surprise of the audience.

7. "Until the End of the World" (Elevation Tour, Boston) - One of their absolute best live songs. The "duel" near the end between Bono and The Edge (in which The Edge always wins, of course) is just epic.

8. "In a Little While" (Elevation Tour, Boston) - One of my favorites. Joey Ramone died listening to this song in his hospital room and U2 gives a great performance in tribute to him (the Ramones were a big influence on them). "Slow down my beating heart..."

9. "Gone" (Elevation Tour, Boston) - Another song re-invented live into something truly special (and watching The Edge kick the crap out of his guitar at the end is just fun).

10. "Stay (Faraway, So Close!)" (Elevation Tour, Boston) - One of the best moments during the middle of each concert is when Bono and The Edge perform one or two songs in an acoustic set. Here they brought back an underrated gem from the "Zooropa" era. They are playing it again on the current tour and I hope we hear it.

11. "Out of Control" (Slane Castle) - U2 brings back their very first single, which they had released more than 20 years earlier, for the home crowd in Ireland.

12. "Desire" (Slane Castle) - 'Nuff said.

13. and 14. "Beautiful Day" and "MLK/Where the Streets Have No Name" (Superbowl XXXVI) - Best halftime show ever as U2 pays an emotional tribute to the victims of 9/11 with a powerful performance. As it always is, "Where the Streets Have No Name" is absolutely euphoric. If pure joy could be translated into a song, it would be this one.

15. "Vertigo" (Vertigo Tour, Chicago) - People go so crazy for this song live that U2 often opened and closed with it on several dates during this tour, which I don't think they've done with any other song. I love this performance because, as he often does, Bono snippets another song - "Stories for Boys" from their first album "Boy." This is my favorte snippet of either a U2 or non-U2 song he's done as both songs feature the lyric "Hello, Hello" and it works seamlessly.

16. and 17. "The Fly" & "Mysterious Ways" (Vertigo Tour, Chicago) - Best. Encore. Ever. U2 finally perfect their performance of "The Fly" (one of my personal favorites) and this performance of "Mysterious Ways" with the The Edge's closing sonic fury and the dancing girl from the audience make it my single favorite U2 live video to watch.

18. "I Still Haven't Found What I'm Looking For" (Vertigo Tour, Milan) - Pure magic. No song gets the crowd to sing along more than this one. In fact, I've seen videos of several shows on this tour where the crowd completely took over the vocals! Will the same happen in Dallas? We'll find out soon enough!

19. "All I Want Is You" (Vertigo Tour, Milan) - Just another great performance of another great song.

20. "Magnificent" (Somerville Theatre, Boston) - Great vid from the "No Line on the Horizon" promo tour. Sure to be one of the highlights of the upcoming concert. Can't wait!

This should never have happened

2009-09-23T20:43:00.001-05:00

I just...well hell, if you can't stomach this, you shouldn't be on this blog.

This website is what they call the best of the best

2009-09-16T21:04:00.002-05:00

The saga continues...

Discount Furry

2009-09-16T13:31:00.004-05:00

Let's just say that given our recent fascination with furries, now seems like a good time to introduce via this particular pic another blog I've discovered, "People of Walmart." And by "people" they mean people who visit Walmart completely in earnest, and not youngsters who go to Walmart at midnight for the purpose of making fun of these earnest buyers, or douchebags who shop there ironically and then try to tell you they really do go for the bargains.

Eh

2009-09-16T12:09:00.002-05:00

Paintball: Riquelme la deja limpita from adidas Fútbol on Vimeo.

I guess so, but as a former paintballer I can tell you that hitting an erratically moving soccer ball at that distant with even a high rate of fire is going to be difficult. Also, as a former paintballer, I can tell you that hitting my ass from about twenty yards while I'm standing still is not that difficult.

WHOSE RESPONSIBLE THIS?

2009-09-13T10:46:00.006-05:00

It is my pleasure to inform on this hilarious new internet meme. Here is the backstory (make sure to read Brickhousebunny21's comment on it!). My favorites so far:

http://twitpic.com/hizaw
http://twitpic.com/hjr4w
http://twitpic.com/hih9w
http://twitpic.com/hhwq0
http://twitpic.com/hg92a

Follow http://twitter.com/ToplessRobot for many more...

UPDATE (Xanthippas): Here's my favorite, courtesy of "stiff shots" at TR. Warning - nerdgasm may result from viewing this pic:

http://twitpic.com/htql2

UPDATE II (Xanthippas): Never mind. I just pasted it above so you can't avoid it even if you want to.

Most visually disgusting foods

2009-09-12T19:55:00.002-05:00

Yes, it is the case that some foods can look grosser than they taste or smell. Not all of these foods are horrible. But most of them look horrible. Check it out here.

Very Homemade Movie Posters

2009-09-11T00:56:00.003-05:00

You probably didn't see that hanging up in the theater in 1986 when the movie came out. Go here for the explanation.

This boy's screams are hilarious

2009-09-10T09:01:00.001-05:00

Seriously Personal Combat

2009-09-04T11:43:00.003-05:00

Unless it shoots off, I'm not sure how useful this is:

BE THE FIRST TO OWN A PISTOL BAYONET THAT LOOKS AS GOOD AS IT WORKS! THIS RAZOR-SHARP KA-BAR BLADE FITS ANY MEDIUM TO LARGE PISTOL WITH A RAIL. IT SLIDES ON AND OFF EASILY WITH THE QUICK PRESS OF TWO BUTTONS. A LASERLYTE ORGINAL, THE PISTOL BAYONET IS READY FOR ANY SITUATION! THE PRODUCT IS READY FOR USE STRAIGHT OUT OF THE PACKAGE!

I like the "straight out of the package" bit especially. Cause you know, most knives need some assembly first.

(Via William Gibson of all people. Cause that's the circle I roll in.)

Samwell - "What What (In the Butt)"

2009-09-04T11:20:00.001-05:00

The best music video since Thriller.

2012 Sucks

2009-08-28T11:19:00.006-05:00

The movie that is, not the year. And yes, I know it hasn't come out yet. That doesn't prevent me from declaring that it will suck, at least if anything I saw in the trailer the other night actually has made it into the movie.

First, there's the disaster that signifies the end of the world. Purportedly this disaster is predicted by the Mayans who, had they known their little prophecies would be stolen by the likes of Roland Emmerich to make a spectacularly bad movie, would probably have aborted their civilization before the Spanish got around to doing it. But the biggest problem is how the disaster unfolds; the planets become aligned, and somehow this causes the Sun to fire out extra radiation that melts the core of the Earth but not the crust, which now becomes "free-floating" and triggering massive earthquakes and volcanoes (never mind that the crust is already free-floating, on top of the Earth's mantle.) If you fail to understand the science behind that, it's because there is no science behind such a ridiculous theory. The sun is not one giant radioactive device; it won't irradiate your insides without zapping your outsides too. And there is no alignment of the planets that would cause such excess radiation in the first place. I'm pretty sure that even if all the planets of the solar system were hurled into the Sun, the Sun would burn them up and keep right on going. Look, I know one of the cliches of disaster movies is the implausible scenario that causes the disaster, but the premise of "2012" is so stupid that it doesn't merely insult my intelligence, it actually drops it several points.

Of course all of this is predicted by a "Coast to Coast" style crank, played by Woody Harrelson. I hate Woody Harrelson, but I'm willing to admit that there are certain roles that he is appropriate for; unintelligent murderer, pornographer, moron, loser. But he is not appropriate for the role of conspiracy-crank. In fact, he manges only to look like an aging stoner, and stoners possess no reputation for stumbling across secret scenarios for how the world will end (that would require entirely too much effort.) In any case, we learn about the imminent massive death-causing disaster via this character's "blog", which actually happens to be an animated video that he invites John Cusack's character to "download." Okay, it's 2009. At this point, aren't we familiar with what blogs are? Right, of course we are, which I guess is why Emmerich thinks it's hip to throw a reference to one in there. But if you're going to do that, what you reference has to actually be a blog, not an animated video because, as we know, animated videos are not called "blogs." In my opinion, this sort of willfully ignorant/grossly negligent error encapsulates what is almost certainly wrong with the entire movie.

Lastly, John Cusack stars in the movie. 'Nuff said.

Conan Got Nothing on Genghis Khan

2009-08-25T13:34:00.003-05:00

I think Conan was channeling the Mongolian terror in one of his more famous lines from the movie. Here's the great Khan himself:

"Man's greatest good fortune is to chase and defeat his enemy, seize his total possessions, leave his married women weeping and wailing, ride his gelding, use his women as a nightshirt and support, gazing upon and kissing their rosy breasts, sucking their lips which are as sweet as the berries of their breasts."

And for memories' sake, the famous Conan line:

For Genghis, it wasn't good enough to hear the lamentation. No, he had to use the women as a nightshirt. That's hardcore.

The Melody of Oblivion

2009-08-24T23:43:00.001-05:00

The Melody of Oblivion
Uploaded by masternamu. -

Weird just isn't the word

2009-08-24T23:32:00.006-05:00

Ok, some libraries make homemade Read posters (which, if you buy them, usually feature celebrities). This library I went to some training for did their own, and, uh, they shouldn't have.

TKK-Days of Swine and Roses ( studio version and lyrics )

2009-08-24T23:01:00.001-05:00

You do want to see this film

2009-08-12T23:21:00.001-05:00

A wonderful little independent Japanese film about a robot geisha and the man who loves her.

The new Terry Gilliam

2009-08-12T00:26:00.001-05:00

Oh my god, craziest anime video I've seen all week!

2009-08-12T00:20:00.001-05:00

Library Statistics

2009-07-24T16:50:00.002-05:00

Steel Panther brings the metal

2009-07-24T14:33:00.002-05:00

In what is probably the funniest parody of metal ballads, here's Steel Panther with "My heart belongs to you, but my cock is community property"

Steel Panther-Community Property
by brienta

Update: Steel Panther is going to be in Dallas on the 27th. I've already got my tickets, what about you?

Nirvana Rick Rolled

2009-07-21T12:22:00.003-05:00

Well, while mashing the two together doesn't improve either in any way (unless you just love Rick Astley and Nirvana and it's been your longstanding dream to see them play together, this video does say a lot about how standardized music is that two songs from two totally different genres can be overlaid this exactly.

If there's one movie you have to see this fall...

2009-07-15T21:10:00.004-05:00

It's Black Dynamite!

And if that isn't enough, here's more!

It's Dynamite!

Mechwarrior, and the Glory Days of Summers Past

2009-07-13T19:17:00.006-05:00

NatWu filled me in on the news that Mechwarrior 4, released in 2000 and the fourth in the line video games based on the "Battletech" wargame, will be distributed for free in honor of Battletech's 25th anniversary. Unfortunately, any fun that you might have playing that version is about to be rendered completely moot by the newest version of the game, which looks completely awesome and amazing (and which might cause me to actually play a video game for the first time in five or more years.)

Now, as NatWu could probably tell you himself, the three of us are huge Battletch fanatics. Well, were huge Battletech fanatics, back when we had the time for such things (like when we were in college and were avoiding studying.) We had it all; every spin-off of the game (including Aerotech and the Mechwarrior RPG), maps depicting various topologies that we played on, multiple sets of dice specifically for Battletech playing, and a variety of miniatures painted to a greater or lesser degree of artistry and competence. Seriously, it is entirely possible that between the three of us, we spent over $1000 on the game and its and various supplements (and that's a lot of money when you're living on student loans.) In fact, we would organize epic games that would stretch far into the night and into the next day (this was not a difficult task when a single round involving up to two or three dozen 'mechs and various infantry and armored units could easily take an hour or more.) I don't know how common this is with other gaming groups, but our Battletech contests were arranged in the fashion of an RPG adventure; I would organize the campaigns and battles, and typically play the "bad guys" in any set up. Also, I was very typically defeated, though this was largely because the bad guys were "supposed" to lose and I was entirely too lazy to play the mix of units necessary to defeat or even seriously challenge my players' legions, which were usually tweaked to maximum fashion (if anything, battlemechs were more lovingly crafted than characters for our RPGs.) Now and again I would enjoy the pleasure of obliterating a player character in a hail of missiles or laser blast, but that was a rare (and most welcome) treat.

As I mentioned above, we also played Mechwarrior, the RPG spin-off of the wargame (when you have hundreds of hours to kill in the summer, there's almost no RPG that you won't play.) We didn't spend a ton of time at it as we weren't quite as invested in it as we were other RPGs like Shadowrun or Top Secret or Warhammer. For one, the RPG took the most interesting aspect of Battletech-the gargantuan battlemechs-and stripped them away. Imagine the most awesome fighter jet simulation game you've ever played...and then imagine playing an RPG where you're one of the pilots of one of those awesome jets, only now you're standing on a street corner somewhere and your jet is parked in a hanger. That's Mechwarrior. Now in most RPGs, you can elect to play any number of skilled fighters, magicians, etc., etc. In Mechwarrior you play a character who's greatest skill will not come into use during the course of the game. As you can imagine, it takes some creativity to come up with an interesting adventure. Fortunately I as BM (battlemaster) had just the idea. I decided, when I wanted to kill about 100 of the hundreds of hours of free time we had, that I would built a multi-module adventure that would utilize every aspect of the Battletech universe. We gamed the invasion of a planet, utilizing Aerotech to play out the destruction of the planet's space defenses and the landing of the dropships (giant ships built to carry battlemechs), then switched to Battletech to game the fight for the planet's cities, then switched again to Mechwarrior when the players were deprived of their battlemechs by chance and circumstance. So then instead of doing what pilots usually do when they're not in their machines (get drunk in bars and start fights) they were forced to do what pilots do when they are rudely deprived of their machines (run for their lives on foot or become a POW.) I'm not sure that campaign ever came to an end, probably due to the fact that up until the point at which the players' were deprived of their 'mechs the game had been very interesting, and afterwards the game was not. It's entirely possible that we never played Mechwarrior again after that, as in truth I can actually only recall that single campaign. But then, I don't save much space in my brain for fourth-rung RPGs I played in the late 1980s/early 1990s.

Anyway there are other Battletech war stories to be told beyond that one, though I think we'll save some of those for another night when I have some Coke and Doritos laying around to help set the mood.

RIP, MJ

2009-07-07T19:09:00.001-05:00

(Via Gordon Keith)

What, too....oh, wait

2009-07-07T17:57:00.002-05:00

A Michael Jackson joke, heard on the radio today:

What are Farah Fawcett, Michael Jackson and Ed McMahon going to get for Christmas? Patrick Swayze.

Ha ha! Oh, uh.

If you want my a**, you're gonna have to fight me for it!

2009-07-06T22:45:00.004-05:00

I was having lunch with a friend of mine this past weekend and he told me a story. As he told it:

"I went to the Autozone with my friend S the other day. He went into the store to get what he wanted so I figured I'd go ahead and get his spot in line so he wouldn't have to wait. So I went to get in line behind this guy and got maybe 6 to 8 feet behind him. He must have seen me, so he turned around and said 'Hey, what are you looking at? Are you looking at my ass? If you want my ass, you're gonna have to fight me for it!' Man, I just couldn't think of anything to say to that. So I just let him check out and leave. The guy at the counter apologized and said he just didn't know what to say about that."

I wouldn't either, man. I wouldn't either.

Damn Furries!

2009-07-03T13:28:00.004-05:00

Via Deadspin, hilarity about how the Milwaukee Brewers ended up spending time in a hotel with hundreds of furry convention attendees:

Virtually everyone, even those who looked otherwise "normal", had a tail sticking out of their clothes in the back. Players and staff reported neighboring rooms generating loud animal noises, barking and other, deep into the night. At first it was kind of funny to see these people wandering around the downtown streets and filing into the hotel, but after the novelty wore off it just made everyone feel creepy. The "furries" seem harmless enough, but people who think they might be an animal trapped in a human body just are unnervingly odd, to say the least.

"Animal noises...deep into the night." That's so brilliant, I don't know how on Earth this could NOT be a prank. Also as a result of this post I have accidentally discovered "WikiFur", the Wikipedia of Furries. So, thanks Brewers.

"Cobra Christ Superstar"

2009-07-03T09:18:00.004-05:00

Certainly you would believe me if I told you someone made a satirical and humorous musical starring the various villains of the GI Joe cartoon show. I mean, that's just how we roll in this millennium. Still, it must be seen to be entirely believed (via Topless Robot, via Adam):

Adam says it's probably better than the forthcoming movie, and he's probably right, but let's weigh the pros and cons:

Cobra Christ Superstar

Pros: Probably funny, and intentionally so. Probably shorter than the movie. No crushed expectations. Hot Baroness that you will see almost the entire time.

Cons: Possibly not all that funny. Cobra Commander's screeching voice, sung or shrieked at you for an hour or two.

GI Joe: The Rise of Cobra

Pros: Probably funny, but only ever unintentionally so. Possibly less expensive, unless you visit the concessions. Hot Baroness you will see sporadically.

Cons: Otherwise, an entirely horrible experience.

Clearly, Cobra Christ Superstar wins by a landslide. Go see it!

What, too soon?

2009-07-03T00:20:00.000-05:00

Do you like Real Men of Genius?

2009-07-03T00:15:00.001-05:00

Wow, there are a ton of those commercials and most of them are pretty good! Check 'em out here.

Too Much

2009-07-02T12:57:00.002-05:00

Yeah okay, cat purrs like a frog, whatever. My question is, why is there so much all over the screen? It looks like a video game! What can all those characters possibly be saying?? "Can you believe this cat? What's up with this cat? Man, that's one funny cat!"

(Via.)

More Ad Watch

2009-07-01T18:04:00.003-05:00

So according to this ad, if you are a guy with semi-yellow-ish teeth that you like to lasciviously lick, this treatment will turn you into a black guy with very white teeth that you do not lasciviously lick.

Confession

2009-06-30T18:39:00.001-05:00

I found something that I thought was appropriate for Nifty, but truth is I'm just too lazy and unmotivated to blog about it. So, sorry.

Old-ass Library Books

2009-06-30T17:23:00.005-05:00

That's what the name of the blog "Awful Library Books" should be, because it's chock full of books that are awful primarily because they are either hilariously out of date:

Or feature bad 70s/80s cover art:

Or both:

So...check 'em out!

D&D Ad

2009-06-29T22:02:00.002-05:00

Via Boing Boing, an old television ad for D&D. It was never quite this exciting for us.

The best tribute to MJ

2009-06-26T19:33:00.000-05:00

"Uber Goober"

2009-06-24T12:46:00.006-05:00

Nat-Wu loaned me his copy of the movie "Uber Goober" about six months ago, and I finally sat down to watch it last night. As far as documentaries go, I'd give it maybe 2 1/2 out of 5 stars. As far as documentaries about role-playing games and the people who play them, I give it a 5 out of 5 (it was filmed by a gamer and honestly, you have to handicap anything these people do that doesn't involve dice or costumes.) If you're looking for something that gives you a fairly decent portrait of the people who play RPGs and wargames ("gamers" in the lingua franca of the art) then you could certainly do worse than to watch this movie. It covers the range of activities that the term "gamer" entails, from old-school wargamers who cringe at being associated with the RPG movement, to old-school role-playing gamers of the sort that most people are probably familiar with, to the live-action role-players (LARPers) of both the fantasy and wargaming set (the latter of which have gained some notoriety thanks to another documentary, Darkon.) It also covers the various types of people who are involved in gaming, from the cop who has a great sense of humor about it all but prefers to be interviewed anonymously for fear of social backlash at his job, to the true social misfits who LARP in public parks and don't care who makes fun of them for it.

The movie is flawed in some respects. For one, I think it plays up the anti-gaming sentiment in society as a whole a bit much. Now it's true that anyone who's ever played an RPG has had to consider in what social settings the subject of his or her involvement should or shouldn't be brought up, but RPGs hardly bear the stigma that they did maybe twenty years ago. I think that's largely the result of the overwhelming popularity of MMORPGs, online games that are based on RPGs but which attract people who'd never consider sitting down at a table with dice and a paper character. After all, it's hard to make fun of somebody's hobby when you're doing an even more virtual version of it yourself. As the on-the-street interviews in the documentary make clear there's still quite a few people who associate RPGs and gaming in general with loser-dom, but I think that view has diminished greatly. Additionally, the opposition to gaming by certain fundamentalist Christian groups is hardly a prominent phenomenon these days. No doubt conservative Christians look askance at gaming, but they look askance at anything that isn't mainstream in popular culture (hence their pedestrian tastes in film, music and recreational activity) and only truly fundamentalist denominations take an issue with the magical element of certain games, or consider RPGs and wild imagination in general a doorway for Satan to wreak havoc. I think a lot of people would consider hard-core Christian opponents of gaming to be even sillier and more ridiculous than gamers themselves, especially after listening to them in the documentary.

Unfortunately, we must broach the difficult subject of exactly who games for a hobby. As you can probably imagine, a movie about gamers by a gamer, is going to make an effort to cast gamers in a positive light. There's certainly nothing wrong with that. While I think the anti-gaming stigma is not as pervasive as it once was, it certainly still exists. After all, the cop/gamer probably was right not to show his face for the interviews; while a lot of his co-workers might not care what he does in his spare time, there are probably more than a few who will judge him critically for wanting to paint miniatures and play wargames into the wee hours. But there are probably a few people out there unfamiliar with gaming in general who were either forced to watch the movie by gamers they know, or who watched it by accident, whose opinion of gamers was softened by the movie. That being said, the movie ends with a montage of many of the gamers featured in interviews describing themselves in one word, with many of them choosing the word "geek" as the word that best suits them. That, to be frank, simply isn't true. Or more accurately, I should say it isn't true in every case. Merriam Webster defines the word "geek" to mean "a person often of an intellectual bent who is disliked" or "an enthusiast or expert especially in a technological field or activity" (it also defines it to mean "a carnival performer often billed as a wild man whose act usually includes biting the head off a live chicken or snake", a definition that's not exactly relevant here.) Unfortunately, gaming requires neither intellectual acuity nor a fascination with technology (though it doesn't preclude those traits) which means that all sorts of people who are not geeks can enjoy gaming. In truth, a more appropriate word to describe many of the people who indulge in RPGs is "dork" which Dictionary.com defines as "a stupid, inept, or foolish person." Another appropriate word might be "loser", which Dictionary.com defines as "a misfit, esp. someone who has never or seldom been successful at a job, personal relationship, etc." Gamers are well known for their inability to excel at either of the latter, a matter which is discussed at some length in the movie itself. Of course the definitions of "dork", "geek" and even "nerd" are flexible and the terms tend to blend into each other; but whereas "geek" and "nerd" have something of a positive connotation in today's technologically driven society, the term "dork" does not, because dorks are generally as socially inept as nerds and geeks, only without the intellectual talents that nerds and geeks can use to acquire things like stable (and successful) careers, prized possessions, and members of the opposite (or same) sex.

Now that all may sound like a rather harsh judgment of gamers, but I know of which I speak. As a lapsed gamer who was never so socially inept as some of the people featured in the film, I'm nevertheless quite aware of the kinds of people who are into gaming, and at least in the circles I ran in they were (mostly, but not entirely) the people who were not doing well in school, didn't particularly care for science or technology beyond game consoles and televisions, had no particular plans for their lives, and were not particularly successful in the arena of human relationships. They were, in short, losers. Now I don't say all this because I'm about to go on and making a sweeping condemnation of RPGs and gaming in general. Far from it. If anything, RPGs and gaming gives these people an outlet for the misfit-ishness, and a vehicle by which to connect to others. Watching Uber Goober, you can see how clearly happier many of these people are to have found something that allows them to bond with others, when the rest of society would prefer to rejct and marginalize them. And it surely is of some benefit to their lives outside of games. A gamer will keep a job, if only to afford the supplements for the games he/she likes to play. A gamer will go to school or college, if he knows other gamers there. A gamer may be able to meet someone of the opposite (or same) sex who can relate to what he/she does (though generally, women have far more options in this regard, being as gamers are predominantly male.) A gamer may even acquire skills that are valuable in his professional life (as I recall from Darkon, where one of the LARPers used the leadership skills he acquired on the field in the boardroom as well.)

That being said, I do think the movie overplays the positive influence gaming can have on gamers. After all, it's still an activity you can waste countless hours on, hours that you could be at work, learning something new, acquiring other skills, meeting other people outside of games, etc, etc. Even Gary Gygax stated clearly in the movie that he has a life outside of gaming. Of course, this assertion can be made about any human activitity, especially sports. But then again, no one has ever been socially marginalized for being too fascinated by sports.

So, those are my thoughts on Uber Goober, and gaming in general. If you're looking for a fairly accurate portrait of what gamers do and who they are, you've found the right movie. If you think it would be a good idea to show this to your significant other so they can finally understand why you like to be gone on all-night gaming junkets with your friends...well, don't get carried away. It might be more appropriate to ease them into the process of accepting you for who you are. Or, just continue to claim that you and your friends are out hunting or watching "the game" or something.

Put balls on ungreased sheet

2009-06-22T19:25:00.004-05:00

That was just to get your attention, I'm actually talking about baking. Yes, that's right, this is our first ever Nifty post about baking. Probably the most useless instruction in baking is to put anything on an ungreased baking sheet. This is what Betty Crocker instructs us to do in many circumstances, including my cheesy biscuits. The biscuits come out great, but they don't come off the sheet unless you spray it or otherwise grease it somehow. Basically, if you don't grease your sheet, you need to spend the time it's baking on your knees praying for a miracle. Unfortunately, I think you have to be Betty Crocker to get that miracle. I think if my name was Moses and I was leading the Israelites to the promised land, I might actually have reason to believe that if I strike a rock with my staff, water will burst forth. Much the same, I think if my name was Betty Crocker I might have reason to believe that my biscuits will come off the sheet without grease. So, Betty, screw you, I'm greasing my sheet.

Does that sound dirty?

Gun Kata

2009-06-21T15:51:00.002-05:00

I watched "Equilibrium" again on TV last night. It was universally panned when it came out in theaters (for literally, about a week), but it's honestly an underrated movie. Sure, it's derivative and has at least one hilariously bad (and unnecessary) CGI shot, but otherwise Christian Bale carries the scifi-actioner perfectly all the way through this extremely satisfying climax:

Better than elevator music, I guess

2009-06-20T21:00:00.001-05:00

Civilization by Marco Brambilla from CRUSH on Vimeo.

Civilization is a video installation we created with artist/director Marco Brambilla for the elevators Standard Hotel in NYC. It's comprised of over 400 video clips and it takes elevator passengers on a trip from hell to heaven as they go up or from heaven to hell as they go down. Pictures of the installation and Q&A with Brambilla and Crush is posted here glossyinc.com/civilization.html

Amazing bassist in Piazza Navona (Rome)

2009-06-18T18:25:00.001-05:00

Yup.

Hammertime Invasion

2009-06-18T16:22:00.003-05:00

Seriously, why?

2009-06-16T22:38:00.001-05:00

Kid, do something worthwhile with your life! Being the best at a game pretending to play piano is like being the best at masturbation. Not something you can really brag about.

Comfort Wipe Commercial

2009-06-15T16:25:00.002-05:00

Never has a commercial for a comforting product been so uncomfortable.

Japanese popping

2009-06-13T01:09:00.001-05:00

The technical perfection of popping as displayed by U-min.

5 soldiers/badasses you will not believe existed, except they did

2009-06-11T23:14:00.003-05:00

I found this list on Cracked, and I just had to share it. I won't be bad and copy the whole damn thing, so go over to Cracked and read it. Let me highlight some points that illustrate why you must read this!

Simo Hayha:

Since the majority of fighting took place in the forest, he figured the best way to stop the invasion was to grab his trusty rifle, a couple of cans of food and hide in a tree all day shooting Russians. In six feet of snow. And 20-40 degrees below zero.

Then they tried getting together a team of counter-snipers (which are basically snipers that kill snipers) and sent them in to eliminate Hayha. He killed all of them, too.

Over the course of 100 days, Hayha killed 542 people with his rifle. He took out another 150 or so with his SMG, sending his credited kill-count up to 705.

705? I think the only man who's killed more enemies with a rifle is The Punisher, and he's not real!

Yogendra Singh Yadav:

Since they didn't want to all climb up one at a time with ice-axes, they decided they'd send one guy up, and he'd fasten the ropes to the cliff as he went, so everyone else could climb up the sissy way. Yadav, being awesome, volunteered.

Half way up the icy cliff-o'-doom, enemies stationed on an adjacent mountain opened fire, shooting them with an RPG, then spraying assault-rifle fire all over the cliff. Half his squad was killed, including the commander, and the rest were scattered and disorganized. Yadav, in spite of being shot three times, kept climbing.

When he reached the top, one of the target bunkers opened fire on him with machine guns. Yadav ran toward the hail of bullets, pitched a grenade in the window and killed everyone inside. By this point the second bunker had a clear shot and opened fire, so he ran at them, taking bullets while he did, and killed the four heavily-armed men inside with his bare hands.

His bare hands? WTF!

Jack Churchill:

An allied commander in WWII, and an avid fan of surfing, Captain Jack Malcolm Thorpe Fleming Churchill aka "Fighting Jack Churchill" aka "Mad Jack" was basically the craziest motherfucker in the whole damn war.

He volunteered for commando duty, not actually knowing what it entailed, but knowing that it sounded dangerous, and therefore fun. He is best known for saying that "any officer who goes into action without his sword is improperly dressed" and, in following with this, for carrying a sword into battle. In WWII. And not one of those sissy ceremonial things the Marines have. No, Jack carried a fucking claymore. And he used it, too. He is credited with capturing a total of 42 Germans and a mortar squad in the middle of the night, using only his sword.

Churchill and his team were tasked with capturing a German fortification creatively called "Point 622." Churchill took the lead, charging ahead of the group into the dark through the barbed wire and mines, pitching grenades as he went. Although his unit did their best to catch up, all but six of them were lost to silly things like death. Of those six, half were wounded and all any of them had left were pistols. Then a mortar shell swung in and killed/mortally wounded everyone who wasn't Jack Churchill.

Best line so far: "killed/mortally wounded everyone who wasn't Jack Churchill". Sounds more like a Chuck Norris joke, except it's not a joke.

Alvin York:

About a year later, he was one of 17 men designated to sneak around and take out a fortified machine-gun encampment guarding a German railroad. As they were approaching, the gunners spotted them and opened fire, tearing nine of the men to pieces.

The few survivors that didn't have enormous balls of steel ran away, leaving York standing there taking fire from 32 heavy machine gunners.

After he killed the first 20 men or so, a German lieutenant got five guys together to try to take this guy from the side. York pulled out his Colt .45 (which only had eight bullets) and killed all of them with it, a practice he likened to "shoot[ing] wild turkeys back home."

You do not want to f*ck with a man who likens killing five men to "shooting wild turkeys". The only reason he doesn't top this list is because he let some live.

Last but not least, the greatest soldier to ever wear an American uniform, Audie Murphy.

During the invasion of Italy he was promoted to corporal for his awesome shooting skills, and at the same time contracted malaria, which he had for almost the entire war. Try to remember that.

He was sent into southern France in 1944. He encountered a German machine gun crew who pretended they were surrendering, then shot his best buddy. Murphy completely hulked out, killed everyone in the gun nest, then used their weaponry to kill every baddie in a 100-yard radius, including two more machine gun nests and a bunch of snipers. They gave him a Distiguished Service Cross, and made him platoon commander while everyone apologized profusely for calling him "Shorty."

About half a year later, his company was given the job of defending the Colmar Pocket, a critical region in France, even though all they had left was 19 guys (out of the original 128) and a couple of M-10 Tank Destroyers.

The Germans showed up with a shitload of guys and half a dozen tanks. Since reinforcements weren't coming for a while, Murphy and his men hid in a trench and sent the M-10s to go do the heavy lifting. They got ripped to shreds.

Then, this five-and-a-half-foot-tall kid with malaria ran up to one of the crippled M-10s, hopped in behind the .50 cal machine gun, and started killing everything in sight. Understand that the M-10 was on fire, had a full tank of gas and was basically a death-trap.

Holy f*cking shit

There is no way to describe the unbelievableness (is that a word?) of his actions. But if anything, this brief description understates the case! Read a more detailed explanation (via Wikipedia, emphasis mine):

The next day, January 26 (the temperature was 14 °F (−10 °C) with 24 inches (61 cm) of snow on the ground), the battle at Holtzwihr, (France) began with Murphy's unit at an effective strength of 19 out of 128. Murphy sent all of his men to the rear while he took pot-shots at the Germans until out of ammunition. He then proceeded to use an abandoned, burning tank destroyer's .50 caliber machine gun to cut into the German infantry at a distance, including one full squad of German infantry that had crawled in a ditch to within 100 feet of his position. Wounded in the leg during heavy fire, he continued this nearly single-handed battle for almost an hour. His focus on the battle before him stopped only when his telephone line to the artillery fire direction center was cut by either U.S. or German artillery. As his remaining men came forward, he quickly organized them to conduct a counter attack, which ultimately drove the enemy away from Holtzwihr. For these actions Murphy was awarded the Medal of Honor.

The Medal of Honor and 32 other medals!

Look at his chest! Good God!

There's a second part to each story about how Hollywood failed to match any of these guys, but I'm only going to give you part of the one about Audie Murphy because it underscores exactly how badass he was.

When some Hollywood producer wanted to make a movie based on Murphy's autobiography, he was determined to have Murphy play himself in the film. Murphy was afraid people would see the complete insane awesomeness the story had to offer, and think he was embellishing or trying to cash in on his fame, so he actually had them take parts out for fear that they wouldn't be believable to a Hollywood audience. Seriously.

Just think about that. And read the full stories on each of these guys over on Cracked.