Not so awesome

Aw come one, who doesn't do this in high school?

The boy at Wheaton North High School ejaculated into a bottle of ranch salad dressing last week and left it on a condiments cart in the cafeteria for upperclassmen, school officials said Thursday. Even though the school's food service provider requires that workers empty condiment containers and wash them every other day, Principal Jill Bullo said the company officials were not sure if the container was washed after lunch, according to the Post-Tribune.

If the container as not washed out, students would have been exposed to the ejaculate [emphasis most wholeheartedly mine] during two lunch periods Dec. 6, and five lunch periods on Dec. 7, the paper reported.

Perhaps he saw some of those jello wrestling pics.

One freshman girl told the paper that she would never eat cafeteria food again. "You're supposed to feel safe enough to eat at school, but this makes you feel disgusted," she said.

There's about five separate jokes I could make out of that statement, all of which are demeaning, and none of which I dare put on the internets to be found by later biographers of my life.

Anyway, let this be a lesson kids. Always watch your condiments.