9. Ken Lay
Charges: Exhibit A: Infuriating karmic immunity. Even when, after many years of foot-dragging, someone finally got around to holding this slimy reverse Robin Hood accountable, he still managed to elude justice and rob his victims yet again, this time of punitive damages by dying with suspiciously perfect timing. Never owned up to any culpability in the myriad legal and ethical violations at Enron, claiming he had no knowledge of them. Even if this were true, Lay would still rank among the worst CEOs in history for sheer obliviousness.
Exhibit A: "We don't break the law."
Sentence: Drinking a martini in his bathrobe and reading the Wall Street Journal at his secret compound in the South Pacific, the "late" Mr. Lay starts choking on an olive when the 400th major daily article to describe his life as "Shakespearean" makes him laugh out loud. Lay falls out of his chair, impaling an eyeball with the stem of his glass and catching his penis in a $900 toaster. The electrical current triggers the long-dormant prefrontal cortex of his now-smoldering brain, suddenly activating Lay’s conscience. As he is slowly and painfully electrocuted over several minutes, Lay experiences a lifetime of guilt and remorse. Then he catches fire.
Sounds about right.
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