Monday, June 22, 2009

Put balls on ungreased sheet

That was just to get your attention, I'm actually talking about baking. Yes, that's right, this is our first ever Nifty post about baking. Probably the most useless instruction in baking is to put anything on an ungreased baking sheet. This is what Betty Crocker instructs us to do in many circumstances, including my cheesy biscuits. The biscuits come out great, but they don't come off the sheet unless you spray it or otherwise grease it somehow. Basically, if you don't grease your sheet, you need to spend the time it's baking on your knees praying for a miracle. Unfortunately, I think you have to be Betty Crocker to get that miracle. I think if my name was Moses and I was leading the Israelites to the promised land, I might actually have reason to believe that if I strike a rock with my staff, water will burst forth. Much the same, I think if my name was Betty Crocker I might have reason to believe that my biscuits will come off the sheet without grease. So, Betty, screw you, I'm greasing my sheet.

Does that sound dirty?

6 comments:

Xanthippas said...

This is possibly the greatest Nifty post ever.

adam said...

So you want to fuck Betty Crocker?

Xanthippas said...

Thought you guys might like to know that if you Google "balls on ungreased sheet" we're the first hit. So, WIN.

Nat-Wu said...

Adam! God dammit, why do you always make the most perverted jokes? Can't you get over all the things we did to you as a child?

Nat-Wu said...

Nifty ftw!

Nat-Wu said...

Re: Googling "balls on ungreased sheet"

I wonder how many people we're going to get coming here because they wonder if they really do need the grease. And how many will leave horrified. I should put the penis cakes in a post.